Cursed Reflection
Deep breaths. The blanket on my bed has been reduced to a crumpled mess in the grip of my hands. I know I should relax, but Cassie will be here to pick me up any minute, and I’m nowhere near ready. Although, as far as my outfit goes, I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. Snug jeans and a flowy purple top. From what I remember, my hair is a darker blonde color, which I think should look good with the deep purple. I’ve brushed it out and pinned it up the best way I know how, pulling two pieces to frame either side of my face. Truth be told, how I look is the least of my worries.
I force myself off the bed and make my way to the bathroom. The porcelain of the sink is cold against the palm of my hands as I brace myself. Inhale. I look up knowing I won’t see my reflection, the black sheet I hung over the mirror is fastened more securely than a rare painting. Exhale. Not that anyone but me could know, but today marks my third year in this timeline, and it’s the longest I’ve ever been able to stay in one. Not only that, but it’s the first time I’ve been somewhere long enough to have a best friend like Cas, and I am terrified to lose it all. A trembled sigh escapes my lips as I stare into the dark polyester void in front of me.
Cursed. That’s how I see it anyway. From what I know, and all I’ve experienced, all it takes is one look in a mirror and my entire world is turned upside down. In the time it takes me to blink I’m opening my eyes to an entirely different timeline. No friends, no family, and never the same one twice as far as I know. It’s hard to keep track of how long it’s been since it started, and I’ve given up trying to understand why. This is the longest I’ve been able to last without an incident. It helps having a friend like Cassie, she doesn’t know the truth, but the lie I fed her about my avoidance of mirrors prompted her to make an effort nobody before has made for me. She’s just that kind of person, doing anything for the people she deems worthy of her love, no questions asked.
A knock on the door startles me from my trance. This night was her idea, my fault for letting this detail slip, and she was so excited to plan it I just couldn’t say no. I would say yes to anything if it was Cassie asking. Before I can even get the door open all the way, she’s already got her
arms thrown around my shoulders. Her frizzy brown hair overwhelms me, smelling of honey and lavender, and I feel the fake smile I was wearing become so real it hurts my cheeks. Even when she squeals right in my ear, “Happy birthday, Livi!”
The pitch of it is piercing, but her joy and excitement are so contagious, I can feel it swelling up in my own chest. I’ve made it to twenty-three years old, and while at least ten of those years have been spent with this curse, these last three mean the whole world to me. That’s what I’m really celebrating. Cassie finally releases me and holds me at arms length so she can look me up and down. The bangles on her wrists jingle as she drops her hands to her hips and circles me, still eyeballing me as she walks.
“Well?” I was curiously awaiting her judgment on my appearance. Given that I can’t really see myself, she has taken it upon herself to always adjust my outfits and I’m happy to oblige. “I know it’s simple, but you didn’t give me much detail on the plans for tonight.” Her eyes look up at my face, and a grin tugs at the corner of her mouth, “It’s almost perfect, it just needs one more thing,” she said, and reached into a bag she dropped on the floor, “this is the perfect finishing touch.” The contents hanging from her outstretched fingers, “Cas,” I gasp, the necklace dangling from her hand is a deep purple amethyst set in a delicate copper plate, “It’s so beautiful. I love it!”
“That's not even the best part silly,” she nudges my shoulder to turn me around and she drapes the necklace around my neck, “look at the back.” I gently twist the necklace around, and engraved on the back are our initials. I look up to her with tears in my eyes, “This is the best present ever.” It’s actually the only present I’ve ever gotten. She wraps me in a hug again, and then grabs my arm to start pulling me out the door, “Okay, enough water works, time to party!”
There’s a slight chill as we walk downtown, arm in arm. A vibration hums through the air and we stop walking so she can dig around in her purse, pulling out her little flip phone. She’d be amazed at the kind of phones they have in other timelines. I almost wish I could tell her. She jumps with joy telling me it’s time to go meet everyone else, and she’s once again dragging me down the bustling downtown sidewalk of Manhattan.
We stop in front of a bar where the rest of the group is already waiting for us. This bar is my favorite, because some drunk girl broke their bathroom mirror earlier this year, and they just haven’t bothered replacing them. Eddie, Cassie’s boyfriend, pulls me into a bear hug. Josh, Eddie’s best friend, wraps one arm around my shoulder and squeezes. Tall with dark hair and a broody but sweet demeanor, I feel warm as he leaves his arm around my shoulders. Cassie leads them in singing happy birthday to me. My family, I think to myself.
It’s not long before we are sitting at a round booth inside, drinking and laughing. Cassie puts our names on the karaoke lists without me knowing, and in a moment's notice I’m following her up in front of everyone. Green and purple lights illuminate the little stage, as we stumble and giggle our way through a song we don’t know, and I could stay in this moment forever. Before this timeline, I’d been to countless places, with one as far back as the 1800’s. It’s not that I never made friends, I did, but it never lasted longer than a year. It wasn’t until this timeline, in the early 2000’s with Cassie, that I’d really let myself feel hopeful. I started to build a life, and I’ve gone to every length to keep it that way.
“Hey guys! Sorry I’m late,” a young brunette woman shouts over the thumping of the music and chatter of strangers as she makes her way to our table. “I got stuck in traffic, and well you know how it goes. Is this the birthday girl?”
She’s turned her attention to me now, and an uneasy feeling washes over me as I meet her eyes. Something about her seems familiar, but I can’t quite place it. I must’ve looked uncomfortable, because Cassie intervened with an introduction, “Livi, this is Ezra, she’s a coworker and she’s new to town and I thought it would be nice to invite her out with us.” Ezra reaches her hand out to me, and the uneasy feeling is now a pit in my stomach, “Nice to meet you Livi, could you show me where the restroom is?” Her smile is wide and toothy, but I look over at Cassie’s hopeful gaze and know I can’t say no, “Sure, it’s just in the back.”
I start wading through the crowd to lead Ezra to the bathroom, and glance back to see Cassie smiling as she sways to the music. Not even a moment after we entered the restroom Ezra turned to me, smile gone and eyes fierce, “You’re not supposed to be here.” My heart dropped. This is it. I glanced towards the door behind her, but my hope was dashed as my eyes flitted back to where she stood, a compact mirror in her hand, “No.. no… please, I’m begging you,” I whimpered. She laughed, evil and shrill.
There’s a ripping noise, guttural scream, and I feel my body thrusted forward, falling onto my hands and knees. My clothes have been replaced by a long ruffled dress, and in front of me is a little blonde boy with a dirty face holding a newspaper dated 1936, “Mam, are you alright?” Tears stream as I reach towards my chest, and I gasp with relief. The necklace, it’s still here. Running my fingers over the engraving, I am filled not with despair, but with pure rage. I will find my way back, no matter what.