Underneath Utopia

“There isn’t a way to tell this story to you gently. There is no sugar-coating something so bitter. Like with any berry flavored vodka, it still burns the whole way down.” I realize I’m mostly rambling to myself trying to make this easier, he doesn’t even know what vodka is or that it burns.

The kid just stares back at me, his eyes saying that he’s terrified and maybe even a little confused. Of course he is, I would be too if a stranger grabbed me off the street and pulled me into the bushes. This particular kid though, is very important in my humanity surviving. It’s his humanity too, but he doesn’t remember that yet. I grab his shoulders and lead him to sit down, assuring him I’m not here to hurt him.

“Sam, I know you’re scared, but this is really important, and I need you to listen, okay?”

Poor kid just nods his head as fast as he can. My watch buzzes against my wrist, alerting me to the fact that I’ve only got so much time before somebody notices this kid isn’t on his usual path.

“You and I have met before, my name is Nick, we met in a warehouse before you came here. Do you remember that?” He shakes his head no, I knew it was a long shot, but I need him to remember if he’s ever going to trust me and I know I just have to pull the right thread, “It was before they brought you here. You were much younger and scared because they’d taken you from your parents, and you didn’t know if you would see them again. Your mom’s name is Debbie, and your dad’s name is Elijah.”

He seems to perk up a bit at the mention of his parents, “Do you remember them, Sam? Your mom liked to watch cartoons with you on Sunday and your dad made you join the soccer team even though you didn’t want to?” He nods a little hesitantly, but I can tell I’m picking at the right spot.

“In the warehouse, I gave you a piece of candy I had in my pocket. It was to help keep your memories somewhat in-tact. You didn’t like it because it was so sour, but I have another piece of candy I need you to eat.” I pull it out of my pocket and hand it to the kid. He’s grown so much since I last saw him. He’s leaner than I thought he’d be. He was only eight when he was crying on my shoulder in the warehouse, and he must be nearing thirteen now. Not quite a boy, not quite a man. He’s quiet and reserved and seems too timid for his age. What have they done to him…

The crinkle of the wrapper brings me back to the present, and Sam is looking at it like he’s perplexed, “Will this… Will this help me remember them more?” My heart breaks looking at him, “Yeah, it should bring most of your memories back. You might even remember me too.”

He looks at the candy and back at me, “What about the parents I have now?”

I sigh and look back down at my watch, I wish I could be gentler, but I don’t have the time, “Those aren’t your real parents, Sam. You were taken and brought here. They tell you to follow the rules and you’ll live a better life, but it’s not what it seems. You have to trust me.” I hold my pinky out to him, the same way I did when he was eight, and am relieved when he hooks his pinky with mine. A line of trust. He pops the pill in his mouth, and I tell him to make sure to let it dissolve. His face contorts at the taste of it, which is understandable, those meds taste like crap.

“Alright, now I’ll be back in a few days. You should remember most everything by then, but you have to pretend like you don’t, okay? You have to keep doing everything you’ve been doing, keep following the rules, and don’t panic when the memories start flooding in. I’ll be back before you know it.” I peer through the leaves of the bushes, trying to get an angle on anybody nearby.

“Nick, are my real parents… are they okay?” If I tell him now, it’ll destroy him, and ruin the plan. “Yeah buddy, they’re waiting for you back home. I have to go but I promise I can answer more questions when I come back.” With that, I push myself out of the bushes before he can see the pain on my own face. When he finds out what this place has done to his parents, it’ll make him want to burn this place to the ground, something we are counting on.

We knew this was coming. It was pretty obvious they were trying to turn our country into some sort of united utopia. They burned books, reformed education, modified access to healthcare. When you were able to see a doctor, they’d just prescribe you some new “miracle drug” said to help settle the brain and body. It definitely made people more open to the power of suggestion, so when they started to suggest a clean new world, there weren’t enough unmedicated people to question it.

That candy I had in the warehouse, was designed by myself and a few other scientists in our resistance. It was for me to take in case I wasn’t able to escape, and they would hopefully come for me eventually to give me the second dose. It was my decision to give it to the kid, he wasn’t just distraught, he was angry. This eight-year-old kid seemed like the angriest person in the world with the way he talked about how they took him from his parents. I had a solid escape plan, and I thought this kids anger would be useful if we had him on the inside.

I flip the neck of my coat up as I pass some security cameras. I don’t want them fully catching my face. Their software might flag me as a non-identified person. Somebody that hasn’t been documented to live in their neat little world. It seems like utopia from the inside. Nobody ever goes hungry, nobody ever gets sick, nobody has to do any back breaking labor to keep things afloat. You get assigned jobs to keep you busy, assigned partners to keep you happy, assigned status to monitor balance in this society.

They don’t know about what happens behind closed doors, how could they. There were people who didn’t respond to the drugs, that fought back and didn’t escape like I was lucky enough to. Those people are what really keep this society functioning. They use them like cattle for their society, holding them captive until they find some use for them. Some are used as invisible surrogates for families above ground, some are used for intensive labor, and others… others are used to feed the rest of the contained. One of my contacts says Sam’s mom is used for the surrogacy process, but his dad hasn’t been seen in months.

If Sam can just remember his life before, or even regain some of the emotions he had, it would be a game changer. The last of us are struggling to keep the last of the real world alive. We’re working on a way for me to be integrated into the society undercover, with the hopes that I can work alongside Sam to bring this utopian hell to a crumbling halt. They are truly twisted, forcing people underground and using them for whatever is too dirty for their perfect world. I slip past the wall and start making my way back to homebase. There they’ll start preparing me for my return.

“Nick, are you sure you want to do this?” Sarah finishes buttoning my shirt and turns to look at both of us in the mirror. She’s beautiful even when her face is twisted with worry. I get it. If it were her going into the belly of the beast, I would be worried too. I kiss her forehead, “I’ll be back before you know it. Hopefully, with good news.” It’s time for me to go surrender and plead to be integrated. They’ll force feed me meds, but I’ve taken every precaution to bypass their tests. My watch buzzes against my wrist, “I love you, it’s time.”

Everything goes according to plan, and I’m accepted as a new mindless body joining the utopian masses. I’m making my way towards Sam’s usual route, when somebody grabs my arm and jerks me into the bushes. Sam is smirking at me, proud that he caught me this time. There’s a spark in his eyes that there wasn’t before, and I know his memories are back.

 

“So,” He says, “We're taking them down, right?”