Greg The Zombie

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa... whoa... wait, wait a minute. Whoa. Way too much stuff just happened. Who are you?", said Greg. "Buddy I'm a survivor and long standing gun aficionado. My collection of guns and superior knowledge of how to kill things got me on the cover of Hog Hunter weekly 8 years in a row. Oh and ah, the names Ted."

"Ted huh? Ted, why the heck did you just come crashing in through my window?" "Well sir I saw you were in trouble, so I thought I should help." "Trouble?", said Greg. "I was in a fight with my girlfriend because of something I did last night while we were out at the bar, but that's nothing out of the ordinary. WHAT THE HECK DO YOU MEAN?!"

"You don't know?", asked Ted. "Know what?", asked Greg. Ted - "Sigh... well sir last night about 3:33 A.M. a zombie outbreak started and well... people were turning into brain mucnh'n machines. Your girlfriend there, she's a zombie." "WHAT!?!?", Greg exclaimed. "Then I got to go help her! Take me back down, I need to help her!"

"Afraid I can't let you do that Bub." "Who are you?", Greg asked. "Name's Billy Bob."

"Phhh. I'll do whatever I want man. My girl's down there!", yelled Greg. "She's a dead head now bub, zombi-fied, brain sucker. Can't save her. She's dead."

At this point Greg was quite perplexed and very afraid of what was going on. Even though Sara was a zombie he stilled cared for her and if there was something, anything he could do to bring her back he was determined to do it. Awe love, the dumb things it makes you do. Like when I took my wife on a 3 week vacation to the Bahamas for our anniversary then caught her getting fresh with the pool boy. Ungrateful B**ch! Eh-em, my apologies. Anyway Greg needed get away from Ted and Billy Bob. Without any weapons or anything at all to make use of he did the only rational thing.

"Hey look over there!", yelled Greg as he pointed to the sky. Then in a flash Greg leaped off the roof making that da na na na na na sound in hope of grabbing a window ledge below.

"Jumpim-jitters!", yelled Billy Bob as he saw Greg plummet. Quickly Ted and Billy Bob ran over to the roof's edge and looked down. Low and behold there was Greg barely hanging on to a window ledge. "Boy! You're-you're stupid! Those zombies will kill ya!", shouted Ted. "Shut up you red-necks! What do you know?!", said Greg. Then he pulled himself up with all his strength and climbed into the open window arriving on the stairwell of his apartment.