Train To Nowhere
I guess this is it.
I run my hand along the side of the train, my fingers grazing the names roughly carved into the side. It’s tradition, I think, that you scratch your name onto the side of the train before you board it. There must be over a hundred names carved into the side of this train, all of them stepped inside, and all of them were never seen again. Those who chose to board were nicknamed, “The Hopeless,” With people throwing the title around like a dirty word, as if they just couldn’t imagine how anyone could possibly be willing to just disappear.
I slip my hand into my pocket and wrap my fingers around the folded pocket knife I’ve brought for my own name. My other hand reaches into my back pocket, digging out my wallet. I flip it open to take one last look at my driver’s license. My long copper hair hangs just past my shoulders, there’s a hint of a smile on my freckled face, and my green eyes stare back at me. The person I used to be, frozen in time. A sigh breaks past my lips as I toss it in the garbage can, and I look back up to the train in front of me.
The designation has been delicately painted on the side, “Nowhere,” I breathe the word quietly, as if whispering it to myself makes it more real. I take a step forward. I don’t think I’m hopeless, I think people have a grave misunderstanding of what it means to stand here. I didn’t come here because I’ve lost all hope for what I have, I came here because I’m desperately hoping for something better. I don’t know where this train will take me. I don’t know if it’s good, or bad, or just plain stupid. What I do know is that if I stay here, if I don’t try this one last thing, I may never be anything more than miserable.
I pull the knife out of my pocket, close enough now that I can see my breath against the cool steel. I flip open the blade, and begin carving my name into the side. Sweat pools on my forehead as I feverishly scratch each line over and over, exhilarated at leaving this last part of me behind. It’s only when I’ve finished the last letter, that I step back and take it in, tossing the blade in the same can as my wallet. The letters are crude and misshapen, so much so that you might not even know it was mine, but there it is. Elizabeth Cambell. The doors for boarding slide open and the platform beneath my feet vibrates as this bizarre carriage prepares to move. Before I can even take another breath, I’m already stepping on, and the train begins to move.
The inside looks like your average modern day train. It has large windows that overlook the passing landscape, and you can hear the soft rumbling of its movement over the tracks. I’m the only one here, so I wander through the cabin, dragging my hand along the seats. The arrangement is like two booths facing each other. It would seem rather intimate if there were other people here. I look in some of the seats for any trace that another person has been here, but I’m not incredibly surprised when I find nothing. I settle into a booth right in the middle of the train and look out the window and see the trees dancing in the wind as I pass. I feel a sense of nostalgia wash over me, my eyes becoming heavier and heavier until I let myself lay across the booth. I can feel the sun on my skin coming in from the window. I wonder if this is how cats laying in sunbeams feel…
My eyes shoot open as the train stops, jolting me slightly. I have no idea how long I've been asleep. I sit up to look out the window only to see that it’s not even slightly darker outside. Could it be that I slept through the night? Or multiple nights? I wipe the crust from my eyelids and gaze out over the field of daisies leading up to a beautiful forest of pine trees, the scent from both wafting through the cabin. I hear the doors open, but nobody is boarding. I hesitate for a moment, still trying to gather my surroundings when a wooden sign by the treeline catches my eyes. The word “Nowhere” is intricately carved into the sign, and next to it a small path. I push myself up from the booth and make my way off the train, saying a silent thank you with each step towards the door. The grass tickles my ankles as I jump down, and I turn to look at the train one last time. Except when I look at it this time, there are no names carved into the side, just blank, shining silver.
“A blank slate,” I think to myself, smiling as I turn and make my way towards the opening in the woods. It’s a short path and I don’t bother to look back as I hear the train rumbling away. All I want to do now is look forward, I never want to look back again. My heart is pounding as I finally reach the sign, and I see up close just how beautiful the carving is. I’m tracing the letter with my eyes when I hear footsteps walking towards me. I look up to see two women smiling and waving as they approach, both in soft blue gowns, their faces radiating with joy.
“Hi, I’m Cassandra,” one of the women says whilst extending her hand to me. She has soft brown eyes and long brown hair that flows past her hips. “You must be our new member, we’ve been waiting for you!” Her voice is deep and sultry, but before she can say anything else, the second woman, shorter and more energetic with short blonde hair quips, “I’m Alexis, it’s so nice to meet you!”
I open my mouth, “I’m… I’m..” The name doesn’t come, and I feel the blush rising to my cheeks, but Cassandra is quick to grab my shoulder and reassure me, “Oh, honey, you don’t have to choose your name right now. You think about it and let us know when you’re ready.” I give her a nod of thanks, and then we are headed down the trail. Alexis chatters about herself and how she arrived about nine months ago, just as nervous as I am. She’s still chattering away when we turn the corner and I see it. “Wow,” I say, my jaw slack from amazement.
There are thousands of people bustling around what looks like a city made from the very forest itself. Beautiful red oak skyscrapers with windows carved all the way up. Houses made from stone, line the naturally cobbled streets, and twinkling lights that criss cross over the wide dirt path running all the way through. There are people painting and dancing, and some laying in net hammocks strung through the trees. Booths line the streets with people making jewelry, art, and offering lessons on everything from combat, to blacksmithing, to foraging. It’s like I’ve stepped into a world of fairy tales. I look to Cassandra and Alexis with tears in my eyes, “This is more incredible than anything I could have ever hoped for.” They are quick to wrap me in a tight hug, Alexis whispering in my ear, “You made it.”
We all stroll through the city of the forest, Alexis points out shops and places where I can get anything I need. Cassandra explains more about this place, and that when you arrive you are nobody, and you get to choose your path here. That’s why when I struggled to give a name, she reassured me it was alright. Only a heart desperate for change can find the paths that lead to Nowhere. Cassandra stops and looks at me with a more serious look, “We all have a role here, at some point you’ll have to choose yours.”
I had been in such awe of this place I hadn’t noticed when Alexis and Cassandra traded in their gowns for leather armored pants and shirts, they looked like warriors. Before I can ask, Alexis is already telling me how their blue dresses were just so I wasn’t startled upon my arrival.
“What are your roles?” I ask, and they reply rather solemnly, “We are the guardians of Nowhere.” My heart pounds with purpose at their response. Like this is exactly where I was meant to be, who I was meant to be, and what I was meant to do.
I smile broadly, “I’d like to reintroduce myself, if that’s alright,” They both nod eagerly, “My name is Hope, and with your help, I’d like to train to be a guardian.”